Quick Update: Kobe Stopped

I had the esteemed pleasure of watching last night's matchup between the LA Kobe and the Charlotte Bobcats. I could tell from watching the first period that this was going to be a close game: the Bobcats were hustling on both ends and the Kobe was not matching that energy.

The game was really getting interesting when the flagrantly douchebaggish Andrew Bynum elbowed Gerald Wallace in the ribs on a drive with 2:08 in the fourth, resulting in a flagrant foul.













Not only did this lead to Gerald Wallace in extreme pain on the ground (current speculation includes broken/bruised ribs and even potentially a collapsed lung), but it led to the following conversation between the Bad Dudes:

Striker (10:08:47 AM): we really need to come up with a derogatory nickname for andrew bynum
Blade (10:09:29 AM): Gynum
Blade (10:09:35 AM): VaGynum
Striker (10:09:37 AM): Vagynum?
Striker (10:09:38 AM): yes
Striker (10:09:40 AM): thats it
Blade (10:09:40 AM): nice

Blade (10:09:41 AM): NICE

...and that's how legends are made.

Anyway, the Bobcats did their best to choke away their late lead by missing seven consecutive free throws at one point to allow the LA Kobe to force overtime. Unfortunately for the Kobe, Mamba fouled out in the first overtime:

I can't foul out! You fouled out! You can't call a technical on me...I'll call a technical on you!

So entering the second overtime, the best player on each team was out of the game. That's like the two football jumpball teams from Starship Troopers playing without Rico and Zander!

God the future is awesome. Wait, it's already here...

In overtime #2, the Bobcats managed to accidentally make some free throws, allowing them to hold on against the LA Kobe's fearsome overtime line-up of Fisher-Farmar-Vujacic-Odom-Vagynum. Ugh.

How fitting that the Blazers have to clean up the LA Kobe's east coast slop yet again. Revenge is on our minds, I'm sure.

Quick Update: Kobe Stopped

In a very special Quick Update, it is my distinct pleasure to present you with tonight's honorary Kobestopper:






















That's right folks, it's Jameer Effing Nelson. In case you haven't been paying attention this year, he's been ripping it up. Here's his box score for tonight: 28/6/8 on 9 for 18 shooting and 7 for 8 from the line. Oh yeah, and he also hit 3 three-pointers. This is especially good for me, not only because he stuck it to the Mamba, but also because he's on my fantasy team.

Now, some might point to Kobe's triple-double tonight as evidence that he was in fact not stopped, but I beg to differ, dear friends. The LA Kobe was defeated on its home court, despite Mr. Colorado's best efforts. That sounds like an ass whooping to me.

So, Jameer Nelson, we salute you for doing your duty and banishing Kobe back to the hellish depths whence he came.

Suck it, Mamba.