It's that time of the month again, sports fans. No, not that time. This is a much better time. It's time for some basketball links.
"It's too hot out here, man."
We miss you too, Sabas.
Zach Randolph: Power of Blazers
Reuben Patterson: Secret Weapon of Blazers
Whoever made this mix: Self-Loathing Sadomasochist of Blazers. Seriously, have two guys ever deserved a mix less? And does every franchise have one crazy fan who makes crap like this? Is there some Sixers fan who's posting "Shawn Bradly vs. Jeff Malone" mixtapes? I may try and get this guy to do an interview to find out just what exactly he was thinking. Stay tuned.
Secret Weapon of Blazers???? Seriously???????
Lucas vs. Dawkins
Philadelphia Spectrum, 1977
Remember how cool basketball used to be? Well, actually, I guess I don't. I wasn't born yet. But MAN basketball used to be cool. They should have let 'em go. Mo would have rearranged Dawkins' face. Chocolate Thunder would have become Chocolate GIGANTIC HOSPITAL BILL.
Well, that's it for now, Blazermaniacs. Train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and get ready for a big home victory against the Magic.
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
12.09.2008
12.04.2008
Links! Basketball Links!
Well, I guess it's time for our first-ever links update. Unfortunately for you guys, it won't be our last.
Perhaps it’s lost its timeliness since we just smoked the Knicks on their home turf, but this was just too good to pass up. Here’s Joe’s boy Stephen A. Smith discussing the Knicks/Starbury situation at high volume. My favorite part comes around the four-minute mark when Stephen A. explains the bloodfeud going on between Stephon and Quentin Richardson. Stephen A.’s comments are in all caps, because, quite frankly, Stephen A. Smith only speaks in capital letters.
“HE HAS ALWAYS DESPISED STEPHON MARBURY. MORE THAN A YEAR AGO…Q RICHARDSON HAD TO BE RESTRAINED FROM GOING AFTER STEPHON MARBURY…HE WENT OUTSIDE AND REFUSED TO LEAVE UNTIL STEPHON MARBURY CAME OUT SO HE COULD PUT HIS HANDS ON STEPHON MARBURY. AND OBVIOUSLY, STEPHON MARBURY WOULDN’T COME OUTSIDE THE KNICKS’ PRACTICE FACILITY, BECAUSE HE WAS FEARFUL THAT HE WOULD BE HARMED.”
Notice how Stephen A. uses Stephon Marbury’s full name approximately 4,221 times during this six-minute interview. It only gets better upon repeat viewings. Trust me.
Who betta? Who betta than Kobe? This seemingly unsolvable and eternal question burns like the red sun of Krypton within the soul of every Blazers fan. It causes us to daydream at work. It makes us lose sleep at night, staring at the ceiling for hours on end. But no more, patrons of Rip City. Starting next week, we’ll be posting a new segment called “Who Betta?” in which we answer that very question. I can feel your heart beginning to race. Settle down. Gotta make it to next week, after all.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Elie Seckbach Variety Hour!
I can’t believe this exists. How have I not known about this man up until now?!
I love how he starts both of those packages:
“There are many great players in the NBA, all good in their own right…”
“We’ve all seen NBA All-Star Kobe Bryant do amazing things on the basketball court – the way he shoots, dunks, and passes…”
Also, check out how Brevin Knight is spelled Brvin Knight in that first clip. This guy and his crew must have gone to the Bobby Heenan School of Broadcast Journalism. Twenty bucks says he wrote his own Wikipedia page.
Mercifully, that's it for now, sports fans. Until next time, just...you know...um...find your own basketball links.
Perhaps it’s lost its timeliness since we just smoked the Knicks on their home turf, but this was just too good to pass up. Here’s Joe’s boy Stephen A. Smith discussing the Knicks/Starbury situation at high volume. My favorite part comes around the four-minute mark when Stephen A. explains the bloodfeud going on between Stephon and Quentin Richardson. Stephen A.’s comments are in all caps, because, quite frankly, Stephen A. Smith only speaks in capital letters.
“HE HAS ALWAYS DESPISED STEPHON MARBURY. MORE THAN A YEAR AGO…Q RICHARDSON HAD TO BE RESTRAINED FROM GOING AFTER STEPHON MARBURY…HE WENT OUTSIDE AND REFUSED TO LEAVE UNTIL STEPHON MARBURY CAME OUT SO HE COULD PUT HIS HANDS ON STEPHON MARBURY. AND OBVIOUSLY, STEPHON MARBURY WOULDN’T COME OUTSIDE THE KNICKS’ PRACTICE FACILITY, BECAUSE HE WAS FEARFUL THAT HE WOULD BE HARMED.”
Notice how Stephen A. uses Stephon Marbury’s full name approximately 4,221 times during this six-minute interview. It only gets better upon repeat viewings. Trust me.
Who betta? Who betta than Kobe? This seemingly unsolvable and eternal question burns like the red sun of Krypton within the soul of every Blazers fan. It causes us to daydream at work. It makes us lose sleep at night, staring at the ceiling for hours on end. But no more, patrons of Rip City. Starting next week, we’ll be posting a new segment called “Who Betta?” in which we answer that very question. I can feel your heart beginning to race. Settle down. Gotta make it to next week, after all.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Elie Seckbach Variety Hour!
I can’t believe this exists. How have I not known about this man up until now?!
I love how he starts both of those packages:
“There are many great players in the NBA, all good in their own right…”
“We’ve all seen NBA All-Star Kobe Bryant do amazing things on the basketball court – the way he shoots, dunks, and passes…”
Also, check out how Brevin Knight is spelled Brvin Knight in that first clip. This guy and his crew must have gone to the Bobby Heenan School of Broadcast Journalism. Twenty bucks says he wrote his own Wikipedia page.
Mercifully, that's it for now, sports fans. Until next time, just...you know...um...find your own basketball links.
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