Links! Basketball Links!

What's up, maniacs?

After a little break, I'm happy to announce that the Kobestoppers are back in full swing. Both Striker and I apologize for our lack of updates these past two weeks, but in our defense, we had a LOT of Street Fighter IV to play. Can you say flying, spinning piledriver? Cause Joe sure can. He knows how to spell that one backwards and forwards after that Soviet beatdown I laid on his candy ass with Zangief.

Anyway, I figure that there's no better way to get back into the swing of things than with some Basketball Links. So come on, kids. Jump on the magic bus and start wasting even more time at work.


LA Kobe/Cleveland LeBron makeout session


Just in case you needed another reason to hate these two. Remember when rival players used to show animosity toward each other? Since I've already linked to the McHale/Rambis clothesline clip several times, I'll spare you guys this once. My point is, nowadays it's like everybody has that Magic/Isiah pregame hug/kiss routine going on. Remember last year when LeBron and Paul Pierce both exploded for like 40+ in their playoff series against each other? Didn't it seem like both of them were congratulating each other AS IT WAS HAPPENING? Smiling, high-fiving, essentially letting everyone know that, "Hey, we're happy we're both doing well for our respective teams!"

You know what MJ would have done? He would have stared the other guy down, demanded to guard him, and said, "Look, I don't know exactly what you think you're doing here, but there is no f***ing way you're outplaying me tonight."

The NBA: Where awesome crap like that used to happen.


"Kemp all over that rebound like a bad suit."


Speaking of awesome stuff that used to happen, check out this Shawn Kemp Top 10 Dunks clip. I've reviewed it approximately 200 times, and both Striker and I agree that this is the most impressive Top 10 Dunks clip on Youtube. It's better than Dominique's. Better than Clyde's. Better than MJ's. Seattle fans, think of this more as an homage than a dig at you poor bastards not having a franchise anymore. Remember the good times.


Hollinger's Per Diem on the Magnificent Seven

While I'll always be partial to The Natural as a nickname for Brandon, Hollinger makes a solid case. More importantly (or perhaps unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), he hits the nail on the head in describing Brandon's game. Surprise, fans on the east coast!


"The Birdman flies in any weather."


I guess what I'm trying to say is, we have absolutely no shot at getting a win tonight. Not with Birdman Andersen on watch.


That's it for right now, maniacs. Up next: In-depth previews of the seven squads we could potentially face in the playoffs.

Oh, you didn't know? We keep it real sexy like that.

That's the BIRD CALL.

Links! Basketball Links!

Time for another hoops video binge, maniacs. Hold on to your autographed Bill Walton 8x10 headshot*, cause it's about to get RAW.

* Joe has informed me that I am the only person on earth with an autographed Bill Walton headshot. My apologies.

Dr. Jack's Experiment in Teamwork

Honestly, what's not to love here? Great footage. Great interviews. Great soundtrack. Great "oh man, we're going retro here!" attitude, even though the video itself looks to be about 15 years old judging by Bill's still fiery red locks. Bobby Gross, Lionel Hollins, Dave Twardzik, Johnny Davis, Maurice Lucas, Bill Walton, and Dr. Jack Ramsay. Man, I LOVE watching those guys kick the crap out of Doug Collins.

Troof Come to the Light

Too...many.....great things...to....exalt. Must...resist..urge.....to pass out...from intense laughter......dang dang diggety dang da dang.

Coca-Cola is NOT a sports drink

Honestly, who thought this would be a good idea? Even as a young man, sweating in that Sixers' jersey, Chaz was still the Round Mound of Rebound. And what's Scottie even doing in this commercial? Don't get me wrong, I like the guy. I think he's underrated. Great passer. Great defender. I would love to play with Scottie Pippen. But, um...was MJ busy that weekend or something? Gatorade clearly didn't insert a no-compete clause in his contract, so what's the deal with going with Robin instead of Batman?

Martell's 24-point quarter

Just in case we've forgotten what this guy can do, here's a little reminder. I was at this game, so I missed out on Mike Rice's classic "asbestos gloves" comment. I gotta tell you guys, it was one of the most impressive quarters of basketball I've ever seen. He was literally on fire. Three people died from the uncontrollable flames coming off his body. Feel better, Martell. We're gritting our teeth and biding our time 'till you come back, dude.

Well, that's all she wrote, maniacs. Now get out of here. You're embarrassing yourself.

Oh, wait! I almost forgot! Here are our honorary Kobestoppers of the week:

- Dwyane Wade. I have finally forgiven Flash for the grievous misspelling of his first name, mostly because he dropped 35/6/3/3/2 on the visiting LA Kobe, besting the Mamba in every possible statistical category. D-Wade hit back-to-back baskets in the last 90 seconds and had a crucial block on Pau Gasol in the final minute to help Miami hold on for an 89-87 win. If my mama like it, I like it.



- The Orlando Magic starting lineup. If Portland is going to lose on an incredibly lucky last-second bank shot by TurkeyGlue, the least those bastards could do is beat the LA Kobe at home. And they obliged. The five starters for Orlando combined for a whopping 84 points and Dwight Howard added 12 rebounds. Sure, Mamba dropped 41 points, but that's not nearly as many as 52. And his team lost.

By the way, who else still has a warm, fuzzy feeling inside from Brandon's 52-point game?

FIFTY. TWO. POINTS.