Running Diary - Magic vs. Blazers

Stardate 217…694…553: We’ve…finally returned…home after a…grueling five-game road…trip. Let’s…get fired…up and give the Magic…the ol’…Captain Kirk…double-fist.

Pre-game thoughts:

-We beat the Magic 106-99 back on November 10th for our first road win of the year. That was without Greg to body up on Dwight Howard. With that addition, this should be an easy win at home, right? Right? Good.

-The breaking news before the game is that Martell has a new foot injury in the same foot. Early estimates predict another 4-6 weeks before his return. This is worse than that time they gave me extra pickles at McDonald’s. A great man once said: “You can never erase the taste of a pickle.”

-Mike Rice tells us his Keys to the Game: blocks, three pointers, and Rose Garden fans. These also happen to be Rudy’s three favorite things. Interestingly, Mike Rice and Rudy are two of my favorite things.

I agree, but I would like to add transition defense to the list, please. Remember how many free points we gave Boston? Let’s not do that at home.

Set phasers to kill, let’s get started.



First Quarter:

11:42 – Oden fouls Dwight Howard on the first play of the game. I think I see their game plan.

10:00 – Howard scores again by just throwing it off the backboard and banking it in. Ugly, but effective. At the same time, if he’s making that shot, we are in deep trouble. 8-1, Magic lead.

9:30 – Greg reels in an offensive rebound off a miss by Roy, pump fakes and seems shocked that no one is trying to foul him or poke the ball away. Howard stands to the side as Oden throws down the two-hander.

9:00 – Mike Rice informs us that “this game will be won in the fourth quarter, not the first.” Interesting thesis, Mike, but I need hard evidence before I can be convinced.

6:45 – A couple of quick scores by LaMarcus are answered by a hook from Dwight Howard. If Superman can perfect that spin-away from the defender, off-the-glass jumper (ala Tim Duncan) he is going to be virtually unstoppable.

5:30 – One on one against Dwight Howard, Oden takes a huge swipe at his shot but Howard flips it in easily. Greg has some work to do to get to that level.

Sidenote: What IS encouraging, however, is the progression of Howard’s skills and statistics since his rookie year. Even coming off micro fracture surgery, Oden is putting up very similar stats per 48 minutes to Howard’s first season. Today, the fundamentals; tomorrow, the dunk contest!!! Right?

4:55 – It’s everyone’s favorite monster: Przybilla!!! Joel makes an instant impact on the game, pushing Howard away from the basket and forcing the type of long jumper we want him to take.

3:55 – As Sergio and Rudy sit at the scorers table, Aldridge gets his hands up and deflects a pass, resulting in a nice lay-up by Roy in transition. Man, when Aldridge is playing high-energy defense he can really have a big impact. Keep it up, big man!

2:06 – Pryz blocks Howard. Monster.

Trivia time: Which current Blazer’s favorite player is Scottie Pippen? Okay Mike and Mike, that is not a trivia question. How the hell could the average person know that based on their knowledge? It should be labeled something like “fun fact” or “random guess.”

0:00 – Crazy end to the quarter. Sergio and Rudy use their psychic link to hook up on a sweet alley-oop to cut the lead to two with seconds left. The crowd roars. Now if only they would use their psychic link to GET THE F BACK ON DEFENSE! Tony Battie hits a three, effectively killing Blazer momentum to end the quarter. 29-25, bad guys.

Sidenote: Speaking of the dunk contest, a little research found that the last Blazer to compete in the dunk contest was James Robinson in 1994. This is shocking and unacceptable. I nominate Jerryd Bayless to represent the Blazers if possible. The guy can get up.



Second Quarter:

10:49 – Rudy misses a long three and the crowd audibly shudders with dampened excitement. There’s a strange rumble in the Rose Garden tonight after that first quarter. Is it hushed anticipation or nervousness? Let’s get loud, people.

8:30 – Ghostface Pryz stuffs Courtney Lee, who loses his balance and drops hard to the floor. Luckily his body was shielded from the hard floor by his face. Roy gathers it and kicks to Rudy on the break, who sends it down low to Sergio, who one-touches it back to Roy for the open three. Wow.

8:00 – Aldridge gets his hands up on defense again, resulting in a steal and eventually a jumper by Sergio. How many Red Bulls did LaMarcus drink before the game? I hope they were sugar-free….

Mike Rice: “You can tell, the Blazers are starting to regain that lead.” Yeah, since we’ve never led and are still losing by 2. I’ll just trust him on this one.

6:20 – With good position inside, Przybilla gives Dwight Howard a little taste of his own medicine, laying it in over his outstretched arms. MVP! MVP!

I’m watching that Fred Meyer commercial where the kid gets an R2-D2 for Christmas. Now, normally I wouldn’t harm a fly, but I would kill a man to get that toy. The kid can have C-3P0.

3:20 – Turkoglu hits a turnaround over Rudy, then does it again a minute later. He is so tall and long to be that good of a shooter. It’s not fair.

2:45 – After Rudy misses a three, Aldridge flies in from behind the backboard and slams the rebound home. He is everywhere tonight.

0:26 – A Keith Bogans three pointer puts the Magic up 7, but the Blazers answer with an 8-0 run to take the lead, capped off two Blake jumpers.

0:00 – Turkoglu drives the lane WAY too easily, flips in the quick lay-up. Blakey misses on the other end to finish the half.



Halftime:

The Blazers go into the locker room trailing by 1, after being down by as many as 7 in the first half.

Good news:

-Dwight Howard has only 9 points, 2 rebounds. Superman, my ass. The real Superman would have at LEAST 4 rebounds. The announcers say that Howard has yet to score a field goal with Przybilla on the floor. Meanwhile, I’m beginning to think that the answer to the age-old question “Who betta?” is actually “Joel Przybilla.”

-LaMarcus Aldridge is an angry man tonight. Not only does he have 10 points, but his defense has been superb and he’s bringing big-time energy that we urgently need.

Bad news:

-Greg Oden: 3 fouls and 2 points in 8 minutes. I doubt Greg has much experience playing against opponents who are bigger, faster, and stronger than him. I hope he’s taking notes.

-Roy has 10 points but, as the Mikes point out, his free throw touch looks off. This could spell trouble at the end of a close game.

Random note: I flipped to the Mavs-Spurs game to check up on double overtime and caught Devean George on the screen. It struck me how incredibly ironic it is that George was right all along. Remember how George had the no-trade clause in his contract, which he used when the Mavericks tried to include him in the Jason Kidd-Devin Harris deal? He tried to warn you, Mark Cuban. And here I thought Devean George couldn’t even read. Shame on me.



Third Quarter:

11:40 – Brandon drains a long jumper. Why do I even bother worrying about this guy?

9:45 – Lewis, Turkoglu, and Nelson all hit unanswered threes. They’re now 7-11 from behind the arc. Howard is struggling, let’s close out on shooters for God’s sake.

- If you are actually intrigued enough by the new Burger King ad campaign to visit the website, make sure you spell "www.whoppervirgins.com" correctly. Just trust me on this one.

7:11 – Two Turkoglu free throws makes it 63-58, Magic. Now we’re REALLY starting to regain the lead.

6:20 – Sergio gets to the line. This may be the only place I feel comfortable with him shooting. 86% from the stripe? Sergio Bending Rodriguez, you dog!

We are now entering the Spanish Fly Zone. Here are the next 11 Blazer scores:

3:23: Aldridge dunk on Sergio assist.
2:43: Aldridge jumper on Rudy assist.
1:40: Sergio free throws.
1:07: Sergio free throws.
0:44: Rudy three pointer on Sergio assist.
0:26: Rudy free throws.



Fourth Quarter:

11:27: Sergio to Rudy alley-oop.
10:25: Sergio three pointer.
9:45: Pryz lay-up on Rudy assist (between Howard’s legs!).
9:04: Rudy technical free throw.
7:58: Aldridge dunk on Rudy assist (amazing behind-the-head pass).

In case you are counting, the Blazers scored 26 straight points as a result of our Spaniards. I just dropped una mierda en mis pantalones. Other things happened during this span, but they probably aren’t important.

-Time for the answer to tonight’s “Blind Stab,” brought to you by Kitchenette culinary knives. Nicolas Batum is the answer. In fact, I think Batum may actually BE Scottie Pippen after facial reconstruction surgery like in Face/Off. So why isn’t he averaging 16 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 assists, you may ask? Well…shut up.

6:06 – Fantastic ball movement results in a wide open 17-footer for LaMarcus. He will do that all. Day. Long. The Garden is rocking and with this momentum we can put them away with another nice run and smart ball control. Blazers lead, 97-89.

5:15 – Rashard Lewis drains a huge three. Every time I think we can put this game in the books the Magic make a big shot. This is going to be a tight finish.

4:20 – It’s Brandon Roy time, as he hits a nice jumper followed by a trip to the line on the next possession. Keep us afloat, Brandon.

1:57 – Jameer Nelson hits two more gigantic threes to cut the Blazer lead to 5, 108-103. Still, this game is ours if we take care of the ball and play smart.

0:53 – Two ill-advised three point shots later, Steve Blake can’t get the ball inbounds and has to use our last time out. Argh.

0:29 – Bogans misses a three and GETS HIS OWN REBOUND! How does that happen? Someone is defending the shot, just turn around and collect the ball! At least get a body on the shooter! Bogans kicks it to Lewis who drains the corner three. WHY!?!?

0:05 – They double Brandon the whole possession. The ball comes to him three separate times, but he is unable to free himself and eventually forces a turnaround three pointer which misses everything and results in a shot clock violation. What happened? Rudy has been on fire, Aldridge has been on fire, and someone has to be open! We’ve suddenly forgotten how to do everything we’ve been doing perfectly for the last quarter and a half. Still, the Blazers are up 2 with five seconds to go. We’ve been here before, we know how to close out games…

0:00 - …



Postgame Thoughts:

I am…stunned. Eff you, Turkoglu. Eff you right in the A.

A bank shot? Really? Straight on off the glass? Well, I don’t know what else to say other than that we gave this one away. Up 8 points with 2 minutes to play, this game was ours to lose, and we did. Silly mistakes, turnovers, and poor rebounding cost us our first home loss.

-On the bright side, Roy finished with 30/9/5, Aldridge with 25/13 and 2 blocks, and Sergio had 14 points, 7 assists, and no turnovers. Good God, how do we lose with those numbers?

-Channing Frye: 4 minutes, 2 fouls, 1 turnover. FAIL.

I’ve nothing else to add, except we can all take slight solace in the LA Kobe’s 113-101 loss to the lowly Sacramento Kings. Suck it, Mamba.

Are those mountains blue yet?