Links! Basketball Links!

OK boys and girls, you know the routine by now. Who's ready for some videos des baskets?

"Ees a sooprize."

I imagine all of you maniacs out there have seen the NBA's "Vote one of these talented rookies into the Dunk...er...the SPRITE RISING SUPERNOVA SLAMSATION!" commercials during a recent Blazer broadcast. I must confess, one particular candidate has wooed me into a full-blown schoolboy man crush. He did this with two simple, beautiful words:

"Vote me."

And so we will, Rudy. We will vote you. As God as my witness, people...if you don't vote him...heads will roll.

Heads. Will roll.

He's Old Greg


Striker (green pants) has brought it to my attention that we've made many an Old Greg joke on this little electroperiodical of ours, and yet simple theory and calculation would indicate that very few if any readers have actually seen the material we've been referencing.

So, after watching the above video, if you want to play the game, all you do is this:
1) Scream "I'm Old Greg!!" after every Greg dunk.
2) Scream "Make an assessment!" after every Greg block.
3) Say "Do you love me?" after Greg makes a free throw.
4) Say "Funk Shake" if he misses a free throw.

Oh, and make sure you're drinking more whiskey than you probably should during all this. Ummmm...yeah. That's the clincher, really.

"De La Hoya/Pacquiao"


OK, scale of one to ten, how disappointed were you that they didn't let Pryz and T-Chand throw down? I'm a 17, personally. Even with a broken wrist, I figure the line is about:

Pryz: -475
Chandler: +380

Tyson's got that huge reach, but something tells me Pryz's heart, chin, and effective body punching would spell disaster for the chicken strip king. In fact, I've taken the liberty of simulating what the fight would look like had it occurred, and it goes a little something like this:


Special thanks to Bustabucket for uploading the Comcast clip. One final note: check out the old guy in the championship era sweater at 1:22 and 4:00. First, he admonishes Chandler for his poor sportsmanship. Then, after Chandler is ejected, Old Guy patronizingly stands and waves "bye-bye" as Chandler exits the floor. I don't know who this man is, but I need to find out. I'm making him another of my honorary grandpas.

Well, that's the end of the road, maniacs. Now go get ready for a tough Philly squad headed by none other than our former father-figure and sometimes lover, Mo Cheeks.